Truth?

I'm devastated by the ADHD diagnosis.  I searched the bio mothers paperwork and nope, no reference to anything like that in her medical history.  Who knows she may have been undiagnosed?  I remember joking with my husband that her medical history was better than ours.  I was paranoid about autism so I didn't want to adopt a boy knowing it's more prevalent in men than women.  I just wanted a typical, healthy, intelligent child.  I certainly was not banking on the behavioral stuff that is SO very foreign to me.  Diabetes, cancer, MS (me), crones (cousin), rheumatoid arthritis (aunt), fibromyalsia (my mom), high blood pressure, bi-polar (FIL), and one distant cousin who I have never met since they live in AZ with schizophrenia.  I will say all the health conditions I listed are covered by health insurance.  Behavioral?  NOPE!  Our insurance gives us 1000 annually for it, which I guess is better than most.  And it's been proven that the brain of a person who has ADHD is different.  So in other words to some extent it is out their control.  Autism is automatically covered by insurance.  Why are behavioral issues not?  I'm only just beginning to learn.  Who knows maybe I'll get the answers to my thoughts some time in the future.

Also, I have searched and searched for a parent support group for parents of kids with ADHD and nope, none.  I live in the Ph.iladelphia suburbs w/it's 2 great children's hospitals and countless university hospitals.  It's not as if I'm living in east bum fuc*.   I finally asked the SWW's behavioral therapist if she would be willing to start one w/her clients parents.

I guess I'm pissed, and feel like I'm getting a bum deal.  I cannot have a baby, my husband is infertile, we did IF unsuccessfully and put my health at great risk, we were burned by an adoption scammer, 2 expectant moms changed their mind, and finally after 7 or was it 9?  years we adopted the SWW.  She is wonderful and perfect physically, but not behaviorally.  So effing smart.  And so defiant!  It's NONSTOP and exhausting!  I spend countless hours trying to outsmart her.  Hiding things, locking things away, because she should not have them and refuses to listen or follow household rules.  Oh yes, you want your child to be bright, but what if that brightness is used against you by her?  She tells my husband that she hates him constantly and makes him feel like shit.  She says she's mad that he's always at work and not playing with her anymore.  She refuses to understand that he has to work to pay for us to live.  I pointed out that if she keeps telling him he hates him and hurts his feelings why would he want to spend time with her.  I don't know if that's too mature for her, or if she's just too obnoxious to  want to understand.  So then I have to be fun and nicey nice to this kid to says she hates daddy?   ALL the time.  She has also begun being mean to the dog.  She's bullying our old lady labrador retriever.  Knocking her down the steps.  At first, she listened to us, now she looks at us as she does it, giving us this smarmy obnoxious look.  She's just being an obnoxious defiant child.