Tuesday, January 26, 2016


Anxiety and depression both stink.  I have been sliding out of it with the help of therapy and medication, but I cannnot control the sadness around me.  This past weekend was the recent topper.  Because of this big snow storm I opted to go with my husband, daughter, and dog to visit MIL all because she has a bladder infection and needed someone (my husband) to drive her to the hospital for her intravenous antibiotic.    I debated, I could have stayed home but I didn't think I had the strength to do the daughter and the puppy on my own during a huge snow storm.  My car is not snow friendly, so we would be house bound.  What if a MS seizure reared its ugly head?  Ok, it's been 6 years, but that still scares me.  Anyway, we went to her house.  I learned that she is quite the pack rat.  There was so much junk in her house, every drawer was filled with something.  And she lives in a small ranch house (BTW, it will be up to us to get rid of everything).  I may complain about the split level we live in, but it is a huge house in comparison.  Anyway, so she is was worried and anxious about getting the the hospital for her medication in the midst of this huge snow storm along with knowing she has a few more months to live, and my husband is depressed because his mother is dying.  I have my own chronic illness and have been fighting off depression myself.  \    

I did drive to my best friends house last week (high speed road), and then going home I had to 2 panic attacks so I had to pull over.  Ugh!  The therapist has suggested that I meditate in the car so I have positive associations in the car.  I tend to have lack of control feelings in the car.  I did do some internet searching a learned driving anxiety is not that odd.

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