Looking for zen

The strong willed wonder is driving me nuts!  I've never mentioned it, but she is getting early intervention because she has a 25% delay of development in social and emotional functioning so that means in her case her "motor growth" is progressing normally.  Her intellectual growth is doing pretty well, she's a smart little girl.  Too smart sometimes I think.  It's the "social/emotional growth" like showing respect and concern for other people and things, cooperating, shares and plays with other kids, accepts and responds to teachers authority, and expresses frustration in a good way (sigh).  Problem areas for her.  In the last 2 days she has been driving me CRAZY!  For some reason she is obsessed with our kitchen cabinets and is compelled to open then and forage for food like she doesn't get fed.  Yes, I'm short and I need to step stool to reach a lot of the stuff in my kitchen. It took her about a minute of trying to figure out how the stool unfolds so she can open all the cabinets that I nicely organize.  OR another favorite is to take out the little steps in bathroom that are used so she can reach the sink to wash her hands and to put that step stool to better use.  For example, opening the locked pantry cabinet in our laundry room that I keep large and bulk food in.  Yesterday, I found her munching on a bag of veggie sticks and a few hours later realized she had gotten them from the laundry room pantry cabinet and our dog was having a food hay day.  That could only be followed by the library where she was playing with a huge container of stuffed animals and the computer. After about an hour I told her to put the stuffed animals back she then began running around the childrens section of the library (what fun).  I did a time out behind some stacks so no one saw, she said she would be good and proceeded to get away and leave the library with more stuffed animals.  I followed and we did another time out in the bathroom.  We then returned the toys with a crying child to the library and I could not wait to get home.  I was FURIOUS.  I went upstairs to my laptop and tried to escape.  A little while later I heard the dog ripping apart some plastic so I went to investigate.  The Strong Willed Wonder was watching TV, the DOG was eating raw ground turkey that I had taken out of the freezer to defrost and put into the microwave above the stove.  The dog is not that special.  She is not capable of getting to the microwave above the stove.  Grrrrr... At that point I lost it. I just freaked out.  The little one actually told me to stop yelling.  She just had no idea how the things that she does piss me off.  She has no idea how much I want a NORMAL kid who doesn't push constantly, who doesn't always test me, who doesn't take advantage of the fact that I have a medical condition and now she weighs over 50 lbs and if she wants to make it hard I'm not able to pick her up.