Complain much?

MIL!  We went to my parents mountain house the other weekend w/my mother in law.  It was ok. DH asked me if I found it relaxing with her there, and I said not really because she's diabetic so I always feel like I have to plan around her meal schedule.  She is also one of the most anxious people I know and she always likes to be in charge and it drives her crazy not knowing exactly how far away something is or how long it will take to get to the destination.  She stayed w/me for a week once this winter when my husband went away for work and all the questions!  Did I know how long it took to get to the grocery store?  Did I know how long it would take for us to get to Lowes?  She was bugging the hell out of me so I turned the odometer on so she could see the number of miles it took.  Saying, it will take about 10 minutes was not good enough.

Anyway, we're in the car driving there and she keeps looking at the GPS map on the dashboard and talking about it non stop. What's the name of this road, what's that name of that road, etc.  Oh, we're in that town now, um yes why not just look at the signs on the road.  We just passed a huge sign that said Kutztown Farmers Market.  Think we're in Kutztown?  Asking if we had any idea if the restaurant we are in makes the food quickly after ordering.  I DON'T KNOW.  It will arrive when it arrives.   If you are driving she's a side seat driver and it's very annoying.  She has her routine and the routine cannot be varied or she gets very upset.  She wakes up early...4:30-5:00ish and has her routine.  I can tell  you exactly what she eats for breakfast and that her hemoglobin levels have gone down with the change of medicine because that's all the talks about when she calls.  Anyway, she has her routine with showering at night and planning her bedtime snack.   She's up so freaking early and then is tired by 1 or 2.  Now my understanding is that it is very common for older people to have difficulty sleeping, but she doesn't do anything to help herself.  She had chemotherapy for cancer (now in remission) and we gave her a guided meditation to listen to for relaxation.  She said it really helped her relax and sleep more.  Then she gave it to a friend from church who was going through treatment.  VERY nice of her, but she didn't find a replacement for herself and is just tired instead because she's getting up so early.

She is also very into her religion and goes to mass EVERY DAY which is fine (for her).  She finds structured religion very calming whereas I prefer a more relaxed one.  I will go with them to not cause any issues, but it's not my thing.

Also whenever she comes and stays at our house she has bowel issues.  Apparently being away from home makes her very anxious.  New things make her anxious.  Not knowing exactly how something to going happen makes her anxious.    When we make plans her first question is when will you get here?  She won't drive to our house.  She doesn't do high speed roads or figure out a route that is not high speed.  I'm not a high speed road person myself, but I do my best to find a low speed alternative.  which of course is longer.

She is a REALLY nice woman. A person who accepted me for all my health flaws.  She wasn't angry when I was diagnosed w/MS 2 months after we got married.  I am FAR from perfect.

Why am I on this bitch fest?  Because my husband wants his mother to live with us and I don't think I can stand it. His thinking is that if we get a big enough house it will be fine, we'll have a discussion, and set parameters.  My thinking is that I don't want to be around her insecurity and anxiety all the time.  I want her to live in an apartment nearby.  He's pissed that I said that.