Round an Round

Yesterday, my husband and I had a brief moment to talk.  I am proud to say that I stayed calm and rational.  I did not raise my voice or lose my temper.  I said that I did not think 2 strong willed women (MIL and Me) living in the same house was a good idea.  I said that I didn't think it would be good for her to be in a situation where there are not people her age. I said that I thought it would be very easy to become dependent on us instead of remaining independent and it would be easy for us to become like parents to her. I said that I did not want to share a kitchen with her because her dietary needs take up so much of her time, living space, and lifestyle.  I said that what I want had been rejected.  He said what do you want?  I said, I know you are an only child, and your mom have very few family members still living, I want her to live in a 55+ apartment that is w/in a mile or 2 of our house.  Near us so she'll be part of our life, but can make friends for herself.  The YMCA has Silver Sneaker which is where she says she'll make friends, but a YMCA is very different from the township recreation center she goes to now.  I guess, I'm thinking it will be more difficult than she anticipates. He said he's not against that idea, that her doesn't think she can afford it.  I began looking.  Where we currently live is pricey.   We have chosen a new area that has good schools and isn't too far of a commute to move to, but I didn't see many 55+ apartments in the area.  I saw whole communities, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't have that kind of money. I found apartments that were further away and I'm not sure if that would go over well.  My husband doesn't like the idea of an in-law suite with a kitchen. He think's  it would be costly and a waste of money for her to have a separate kitchen.  I on the other hand do not want to share my kitchen w/someone whose life has to revolve so closely with kitchen and food use/storage.  I have seen a of homes that have a family room in the basement and some have a kitchen, but I don't know that MIL would be pleased w/having to use a kitchen in the basement.