What's going on in my life?

To set the stage for you my mom was diagnosed w/with breast cancer when she was 58, had radiation therapy, and is now has been in remission for 15 years.  My grandmother was also diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 58 and passed away.  I turned 40 in February and I couldn't put it off forever.  It would seem that my mammogram was irregular so tomorrow I am having a needle biopsy done to make sure the mass in my left breast is indeed benign as the radiologist thought but given my history they have to be sure.

The new anti-depressant I tried made me very very happy and energetic!  BUT also made my speech speed WAY up and I'm already a pretty fast talker.  It did NOT assist w/my anxiety issues at all and kept me awake at night.  The doctor asked me a lot of questions and apparently there's a name for my anxiety with driving that encompasses driving, bridges, and tunnels (cannot remember what he said).  For me in the car, it's when I don't have the option of being able to pull over.  So if I'm at of the those left hand turn lanes that has an arrow, I'm three car lanes in, and waiting feeling VERY anxious because I can't pull over or easily get off the road.  That loss of control.  Heavy traffic is not my friend.  Unfortunately, anxiety and depression are very common in my family and I managed to avoid it until the mid-thirties.

Anyway, so I'm giving another med a try and working on meditative breathing exercises.  My goal is to practice twice a day so I am able to use the calming technique in a stressful situation like driving. When the SWW was 1 1/2 or 2 I did biofeedback and I actually realized that I had forgotten how to relax.  IOW, 9 years of adoption and infertility and my body had forgotten how to.  Kind of weird huh?  I think it is.  Knowing how to relax should not be something that complicated, but for me it is.  I am one tightly wound   (sp doesn't look right) chick.  If I think about my pre-MS life I was one laid back fun loving chick.  Add a health condition, adoption & fertility issues, and that person is a distant memory that my husband wishes would show up periodically.